Comment accompagner et guider un enfant à être fort et confiant ?

A confident child ?

“Self-confidence is the light that lights our way. »Jean Gastaldi

Through daily practices, discoveries, affective and emotional security that we bring to our children, we have a role to play in this support to guide them through feel strong and confident. 

Each child has their own strength, their own security, their own confidence. When a child has self-esteem he knows recognize their strengths and limitations. Self-esteem cis above all having self-confidence: knowing what you are capable of doing, believe in one's potential, in one's ability to succeed and to know oneselfSelf-esteem is seeing and loving yourself, it is accepting and appreciating yourself as you are, it is understand that we have value, even if not everything we do is perfect! Self-esteem is built from birth and develops as the child grows.
When a child has in him the few bases of these notions, when he takes care of himself, when he knows that he has value, a good vision of himself, that he feels proud of what he is accomplishes by himself it is a base that he builds, a baggage which once it is installed will accompany it throughout its experiences. 

I. Build self-confidence through physical activity: 

 By having a physical activity we take care of our body, we change our ideas, we discover new goals, we surpass ourselves, we learn, we act on his emotional balance and over its entire psychic structure.

In the practice of a sport, a child can reveal his talents, he knows what he is worth. Playing a sport in a group means joining a team with which to share strong moments that allow you to feel good in your body and especially to spend your energy, so vital for the well-being of a child. 

Children who are comfortable with different types of physical activity are able to take on new challenges, the lessons learned on the sports field carry over into other areas of their lives!

This fact is further illustrated in several studies, Psychology Today describes: "Adolescents who participated in sports experience real well-being, enjoy better social adjustment, feel less anxious and generally happier in their lives." It might be worth a try ... 

The level of participation can range from simply being involved in an activity just for fun, to playing a sport in high competition. The main thing is to try! Sometimes you have to discover several activities before finding THE sport that suits your children, it's up to us to encourage them and persevere! For each activity they experience, they will learn important lessons: to do their best, to be proud of them, to stick to a commitment, to persevere and to know how to win and lose with dignity ... 

II. Mental strength: 

Mental toughness is a magical thought, it allows us to move forward towards a goal with confidence and succeed in spite of difficulties. It is a combination of progress, sharing, commitment and surpassing oneself

One of the keys to giving your child confidence is to broaden his range of abilities as much as possible by giving him the possibility of display your personality as widely as possible. Then, over the course of life, it is the experiences that will bring skills, confidence, confidence.  

In order to help children gain mental strength and confidence, why not allow them to explore new interests for the simple pleasure of discovering and leave them time for their personal introspection? Two key elements that will strengthen their mental strength and their self-confidence. 

"We don't force a curiosity, we awaken it. »Daniel Pennac 

A student who achieves good grades in school is certainly a generator of mental confidence, but there are other activities that help develop mental strength: playing chess, cards, a musical instrument, acting. , take lessons in dancing, painting etc… you have to let them explore their creativity and realize what it can bring them. 

 III. Confidence through emotional development: 

"To nurture a child's confidence, you have to nurture their emotional reservoir! »Anne Partridge 


Emotional development is the ability to feel, express and deal with a variety of emotions. It is also recognizing the presence of emotions in the other and understanding them. According to Child Encyclopedia "Emotional learning begins at every age, as children discover a wide range of emotions and change as they grow older." 

The feeling trust is acquired from birth in these strong bonds of attachment that are created when the child is a baby and then throughout his childhood, itis one of the essential factors in a child's personal confidence. The reassuring gaze of the parent allows them to feel safe and to be able to embark on life learning with confidence. "The words and attentions offered by the family and societal environment color relationships and will fill the child's emotional reservoir, leaving an indelible mark on the child's self-esteem. " Anne Partridge. 

By providing a safe place where they can develop their own inner strength, in congratulating them, encouraging them at through descriptive compliments, listening and attentive to their needs we actively participate in the emotional development of our children:

Also at through descriptive compliments:

  • Help your child to notice his strengths, his talents. You don't have to always compliment him, but pay attention to the details of what he does: When he does something, point it out so that he will know it. For example when they show us a drawing rather than say "You are a real artist! (Is it really credible?) Why not describe what we see, what we feel, what touches us! Thus, we nourish the child's self-esteem: "I see you sketched there, it made lines, it touches me, ah and you even put glitter! » These descriptions will self-compliment the child. When we receive a gift from them that they made themselves, like thehe famous noodle necklace for Mother's Day, imagine your child making it at school and asking him questions, he will surely have anecdotes to share, which promotes listening and connection.  
Through daily life at home: 
  • Create a warm environment at home, where he will receive love, tenderness and attention, a environment where your child can feel comfortable, happy and secure.

  • Give it time. Whenever you spend time with him and pay attention to him (such as asking him Questions on his day) he will understand that he is valuable to you.

  • Let your child do household chores, give him little responsibilities. He will feel useful and will gain a sense of pride from it. Tell him you are happy when he helps you, thank him.

  • Help your child learn from his mistakes. A stupidity for us is not necessarily one for them, it is an experience! Repairing this stupidity together rather than punishing turns this bad experience into an educational sanction. 

  • Give the example! Show your child what it is to love yourself, and be willing to try new things, show him how to deal with setbacks and difficulties, the virtues of patience, persistence and doing things the best they can.

  • Try to solve the problems together. When the child often forgets something (his coat) or has trouble getting up every morning: talk to him cold to invite him to think with you. When we have been able to recognize and identify the needs in which our children find themselves, when they have understood our feelings, we get out of the problem and find together the best solution. Why not make a list and write everything down (and then sort it out together?)child is an actor and feels heard! It's a learning experience for him so let's stay in a cheering posture and trust him! And finally we make compromises: I the adult, ndon't I have too many expectations? (We are co-creator!) 

At school: 

  • Discuss with him his limitations or difficulties, do not hesitate to repeat to your child that a mistake is not a failure, it is an additional experience that is part of the learning process. Encourage him to improve. Think with him about how to do better next time. Highlight their progress or the efforts they are making to achieve it.

  • We mark important successes! We value our efforts and skills by remembering that the effort is always more important than the result, “We water the flowers, not the weeds” Anne Partridge. 

  • Understand and respect that he will be very good at some activities, but not at others. Remind him that it takes time and practice to master new skills and that he cannot (always) be good everywhere. You can also talk to him about your successes, your failures, and what they have taught you.

  • Avoid humiliating or belittling him if he doesn't succeed. 

And through activities:

  • Help him find an activity that suits him, makes him feel good and thrives in.

  • Offer choices! Encourage him to try new things: tell him that you are proud of him, that you have confidence in his skills, in his abilities.

  • Invite him to take on challenges (commensurate with his abilities and his age) while remaining realistic in your expectations of your child.

By questioning ourselves as parents, by examining how we interact with our children we avoid the pitfalls that hinder their confidence-building: continuous criticism, overprotection, excessive anxiety, negative comparisons and unrealistic expectations ... In lhelping to build their confidence with an approach that emphasizes physical, mental and emotional we accompany them to theirflourish and become aware of who they are. VSIt's our role as adults to accept them as they are! 

Remember, "Rome was not built in a day". Children develop at different rates, it can sometimes take a while but we guarantee that with confidence they will do it. 

We would like to thank Anne Partridge for her ever-so powerful advice that touches us just as much. Anne is a workshop leader for the method Faber & Mazlish in Bordeaux on benevolent communication. A an approach that offers very concrete humanistic tools to better communicate with the family, to better understand the needs of each person behind difficult behaviors, with respect for others and oneself and thus to calm relationships.

To find more information on this method and more information on Anne Partridge, go to here