Dear intrepid parents, if you're thinking of going skiing with your little ones, take a deep breath (before the altitude deprives you of it). Sure, the snow-covered panoramas and glistening slopes may seem irresistible, but keep in mind these 8 good reasons not to embark this merry marmaille on the adventure!
1 - The paradox: quantity of stuff VS square meter of floor space
One good reason not to go skiing with the kids is that you don't want to find yourself sequestered in 17m2 with children you're already finding hard to cope with for the rest of the year - enough to drive you crazy!
In the mountains, there's always that paradox between the amount of stuff you need to take with you and the square meters of your rental space, giving that sled 😎 the opportunity to think of itself as a piece of designer furniture... Every nook and cranny becomes a strategic storage space, and when you start asking yourself the existential question: "Should I keep the ski boots under the pillow or on the kitchen worktop?", it's time to go home!
2 - Investing in the latest family SUV
Failing to treat yourself to THE fashion statement that would make the whole world jealous, you're forced to invest in a machine that could easily rival a tank for carrying all the winter gear 🚚. It's enough to make you wonder if this isn't a move you're organizing... You can console yourself, though: for the return to civilization, you'll have the space you need to travel comfortably after a week of intensive raclette. We say that, we say nothing! 🤐
3 - The Olympic test: Carrying their poles and skis
Here you are, transformed into a modern-day Bourriquet: two poles and two skis per child in addition to your own, all with ski boots that have an annoying tendency to go on a suicide mission down the lift stairs! And yet, your kids still find a way to wallow at the first obstacle... The nerve 🤫
4 - Ski lesson drama
The persistent ingratitude of your children. You've saved up for months for that family holiday in the mountains, and yet every morning it's the same movie: ski class triggers an avalanche of screams and tears worthy of a Shakespearean drama 🎭. If you'd known, you'd have bought that Balzac bag...
5 - The mystery of lost objects worthy of the Bermuda Triangle
It's almost as if your children are secretly taking part in a "Who can lose the most objects in a week?Lipsticks disappear as quickly as New Year's resolutions, sunglasses become professional runaways and single socks are now joined by gloves (who reminds them it's almost Valentine's Day? 💘 )!Finally this week on the slopes resembles a daily treasure hunt, where the only reward is your child's toothless smile proudly announcing, "Mommy, I can't find my ski pass!".
Don't thank us, but for lip balm we've got the solution: My brilliant balm stays firmly attached to the wrist, with no risk of loss even on pistes⛷️ (yes, yes)! It moisturizes and protects lips thanks to the shea butter and precious oils in its formula. No more cracking or chapping!
6- Unexpected urges to pee
A good reason not to go skiing with the kids?Their ability to develop the urge to "pee" at highly inopportune moments.
After a heroic struggle to get them into space-worthy suits, they proudly declare their pressing need. We don't want to play devil's advocate, but considering it took us about 45 minutes, it's a reasonable amount of time to have a full bladder.
At the top of the chairlift🚡 so much so that we only have 10 minutes left to find an overpriced altitude restaurant to go to the basement (in ski boots, of course)!
Déjà vu? So have we!
7- Making snowmen instead of sipping on a terrace
You can't say we didn't warn you! The kids are going to challenge you to build the coolest ⛄ snowman in the resort. You'll then find yourself sculpting an ice monster while the other parents quietly sip their Viennese chocolate on the terrace while admiring this joyous🥂 spectacle.
8- The "selective fall" phenomenon
Your kids can master complex snowboarding and skiing tricks, but miraculously, as soon as you watch them, they develop such a low center of gravity that they always end up on the ground, as if by magic!
You've been dreaming of lounging in the hotel spa, but it's exploring the corridors of the emergency room that awaits you! Aaaaah the joy of parenthood 😇
If the idea of returning from vacation with more wrinkles of exhaustion than memories of powder still makes you hesitate, perhaps you should consider a stay in the sun... or at least, a well-deserved break at your neighborhood spa.
If you're in the mood for more episodes of #ParentLife, we suggest you read our article on: "Top 10 best parenting resolutions never kept".